If you're certain - absolutely certain - that you're seeing things the one right way they can be seen, but your own ability to be loving or compassionate or helpful is missing, then there's a really good chance your premise is wrong, or at least limited. Because when you see through the eyes of truth, even if you're not getting what you want, you'll have enough perspective to maintain the best in yourself and be at least a little generous with others.
Try it next time you're angry and frustrated and shut down. See if you can't shift your perspective a little, be a little more open to other ways of seeing and understanding, and being generous with yourself first. You might just find that all the internal suffering your own frustration is creating is a bit of an illusion, and that there's so much more that is real and worth your attention and energy.