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Sunday, January 4, 2015

Putting It Out There

My amazing friend Tim (Tim Maeder) has been an inspiration to me for years now. He is the kind of singer that you hear and think, "this guys gonna be a rock star." Things haven't turned out exactly that way for him (yet), but I remember when he first gave me his CD 'Rebuild the Afterworld', and I was touched so unexpectedly, not only by the music, but by how much he put himself into the music, how much he just opened himself up and let everything fall out of him.

I know artists who do that, but this was a friend of mine, not some guy on the radio or a stage, and knowing that he poured himself out into the world that way, so vulnerable and unprotected, not just willing to share his voice, but needing to share it...it was a moment in time that changed what I understood as possible.

I've never been that kind of person. I've stayed in a very self-protective space, even spiritually, cultivating solitude in my practice, and being reluctant to share, even when asked. But Tim has been on my mind. He is the kind of person everyone falls in love with. He is warm and kind and considerate. He has a dark sense of humor and artistry that you don't expect from the incredible caring he offers, but he's a sensitive soul, and he feels his pain and the pain of the world with a fullness I wouldn't wish on anyone. And yet...and yet he still opens himself up and pours himself out into the world.

I don't know if he does it out of courage or need, or maybe both. But he is my inspiration. I think of him and take courage for myself to just put it out there, whatever it is that needs expressing. The world may love it or hate it, embrace it or reject it, but there's something really important in just doing it, in not being too precious about what you're holding onto so much that it's an obstacle to letting go.

I asked Tim if it's ok to write about him, and he gave me his blessing. So I feel like he's here with me, his energy also in these words. And if you have the great fortune to ever meet him, you will see what a kind and loving person he is, how he lets all of that pour out of him along with his art. I am blessed to have him as a friend. And an inspiration.