It's easy to go along feeling as if everything is fine, because it pretty much is. And then someone says or does something, or you see or hear something that triggers a memory or a feeling or reminds you of the ways that you are not exactly fine. And sometimes that experience is shocking in its intensity or depth or even its existence, as you just didn't know you could or would still feel the way you suddenly do.
We have memories and wounds and sorrow that we think have healed or receded, faded into neutral, and suddenly they emerge as bright and clear as the day we first encountered them. Like the grief from loss you were certain you had moved through, only to find that the emptiness can still open like a canyon inside of you.
It's not that these things magically disappear, or that if you have the right advice or counsel or support, you just get over them. But you can learn about the room they occupy inside of you, about the ways you have changed because of your experience, and instead of trying to avoid the feelings, trying to dampen the experience, you can learn to express the truth of it, to let it become part of your story. And to own the story - how it's told and what it means and what you reveal and what you conceal, and how you begin to heal by telling your story.
You can tell it out loud or in writing or in whispers to a friend, or through your tears or through your laughter. It's up to you. The important thing is simply to speak it. To acknowledge it. To recognize what has changed you and how, and to honor that experience by giving it a rightful place in your story. It's not the only story or the whole story. It may not be the biggest or most important story. But it's yours. So speak your truth.
The people who don't get it or judge you? They don't matter so much. And that's part of your story too. Seek the people who do. There are always people who do, and it's a great comfort to find them.
It's not that these things magically disappear, or that if you have the right advice or counsel or support, you just get over them. But you can learn about the room they occupy inside of you, about the ways you have changed because of your experience, and instead of trying to avoid the feelings, trying to dampen the experience, you can learn to express the truth of it, to let it become part of your story. And to own the story - how it's told and what it means and what you reveal and what you conceal, and how you begin to heal by telling your story.
You can tell it out loud or in writing or in whispers to a friend, or through your tears or through your laughter. It's up to you. The important thing is simply to speak it. To acknowledge it. To recognize what has changed you and how, and to honor that experience by giving it a rightful place in your story. It's not the only story or the whole story. It may not be the biggest or most important story. But it's yours. So speak your truth.
The people who don't get it or judge you? They don't matter so much. And that's part of your story too. Seek the people who do. There are always people who do, and it's a great comfort to find them.
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